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PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

After finishing MBBS… Dr Munna Bhai starts his practice.
He checked his FIRST patient’s eyes,
tongue & ears by TORCH & finally what did he say?
“Battery is OK”

CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot [...]

Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!!

CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla
aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay
kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.

CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.

MUNNA BHAI : Oye Short Circuit yeh light
bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

MUNNA BHAI : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.
Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Ab itni night ko apun tere ko
kisi film ki kahani sunane
k liye msg to karega nahin.
Common sense ki baat hai k
tere ko GUD Night bolney ka hai!
Chal ludak le..

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera
operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves
teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do.
Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Circuit, “Bhai… bole to bachpan
mein apun 20th Floor se gir gaya tha.”
Munna Bhai, “Aisa kya? To fir
bach gaya tha ya mar gaya tha?
Circuit, “Abhi jaane do na bhai itni purani baat…
Bole to ab apun ko jyada yaad nahin!!”

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

Kya ray!Aasmani kabutar!
Apun ko sms ka hafta nahi aarela hai,Apun ko malum hai tere pass sms ka khazana padela hai,Jaldi se 2-4 jhakas sms ka hafta bhej kanjoos?
Apka Pyara
Munna Bhai

Munna:Teray ko maaloom hai k cigaretteaik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Munna: Meray paas aik buri khabar hai, aur aik buhat hi buri khabar hai teray wastay.
Patient: Acha to pehlay buri khabar suna daal.
Munna: Apun k paas jo teri report pahunchi us mien likha tha k teray
paas sirf 24 ghantay hain zinda rehnay k liye.
Patient: Sirf 24 ghantay. is say buri khabar kya ho sakti hai.
Munna: [...]

Munna:
Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!

EXam’s song by Munna bhai:
“Chanda Mama so Gaye,
Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,
Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji
shuru ho gayi MAAMU.