Little Johnny SMS, Text Messages and Jokes

Page No. 1

Latest, Unique and Top / Super Quality Little Johnny SMS, Little Johnny Text Messages and Jokes Collection

Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions and has a very straightforward thinking. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex (then he is known as (Little) dirty Johnny), while at others he is all too innocent. He also has a cousin Dirty Ernie.

Little Johnny jokes will make you laugh and laugh and laugh. Most are dirty jokes but some are down right very filthy jokes.

This category is dedicated to my friend actually elder brother's friend, Mr. Faheemuddin Saquib Bukhari, who used to tell me Little Johnny Jokes when I started my career in computers in 1998. I missed those moments sometime.

Little Johnny Search Terms: Little Johnny SMS, Little Johnny Text Message, Little Johnny Jokes, Little Johnny Naughty Jokes, Little Johnny Filthy Jokes, Little Johnny Dirty Jokes.

Fascinate Not Fascinating

buzz_button

A grade school teacher in Tennessee asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to Graceland and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated.”

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word ‘fascinate’, so she called on him.

Little Johnny said, “My Aunt Gina has a shirt with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.”

The teacher cried.

Six Feet Under

Posted in Little Johnny SMS
buzz_button

The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven.

At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”

“Heaven!” Suzy cried out.

“And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the preacher.

“Six feet under!”, yelled Little Johnny.

We Can Play That Game Again

buzz_button

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,

“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

Let Me See Your Report Card

Posted in Little Johnny SMS
buzz_button

Little Johnny’s father said, “let me see your report card.”
Johnny replied, “I don’t have it.”
“Why not?” His father asked.
“My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

Johnny Likes to Gamble

buzz_button

Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”

So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.”

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, “I bet you ten dollars you’ve got a mole on your butt.”

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, “Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.”

The teacher says, “Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.”

Johnny’s dad laughs and says, “No you didn’t, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he’d see your ass before the day was over.”

Little Johnny at the Park

buzz_button

Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods.

Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.

Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

“MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND….”

Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy….”

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story.

He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, “Then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.”

I Like the Way You Are Thinking

buzz_button

Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag

She reaches her hand in it and says it’s round, it’s got a stem, and it’s got a leaf.

Little Johnny raises his hand and says it’s an apple, it’s an apple.

Then he says now let me give you one.

He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it’s round, it’s hard , and it’s got a head.

The teacher says Ohh Johnny that’s grose.

Little Johnny says no it’s a quater but I like the way you’re thinking.

20 Questions with Little Johnny

buzz_button

One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions.

So the teacher says “OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and red”

Little Suzy pipes up “I know, it’s a tomato”.

“No but you’re thinking, it’s an apple” replies the teacher.

So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket and says “I am holding onto something that is round, hard, and has a head on it”

“Go to the principals office” says the teacher.

“No but you’re thinking”, say Johnny, “It’s a quarter”

The Urinate Joke

buzz_button

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day.
All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.

He yelled out,”Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”

The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’

Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a ten!!!”

Johnny Needs a Bike

buzz_button

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”

1/3123